The Film That Emerged

After almost three years since we first had the idea that the stories of gay and lesbian Adventists trying to reconcile their identity and their faith would make for an interesting film, we finally are nearing completion. It's been a packed summer and fall editing or thinking about edits around the clock. We've been hugely fortunate to have an incredibly talented editor and assistant editor (sadly, she had to return to school after her summer internship in San Francisco), and several other story consultants and trusted advisors have given us valuable feedback and insights as we've been crafting the film.

I think you will be pleased with the film that has emerged. We've now shared the work-in-progress film three times in small, private screenings to get feedback form different types of audiences (Adventist, gay Adventist, and general documentary lovers). So far the response has been overwhelmingly affirming. People from every background are drawn into the stories and find them compelling. They laughed and cried (in the right places), and they've had helpful suggestions as we've continued to tweak and polish the film. 

This past weekend we shared the film with a small group of Adventist religion teachers and theologians who were in San Francisco for a conference (many of them had agreed to be interviewed by us two years ago when we though we were making an issue film rather than a character-driven film). I was quite nervous because I knew many individuals were brilliant scholars who hold very traditional views of biblical morality; however, even they found the stories compelling and the experience valuable. Here are a few of the comments I can remember:

"I was very resistant to this film coming in. I really just came out of obligation, but somewhere in the middle I completely changed my perspective. I was so taken in by these stories. I feel like I've just experienced some really deep spiritual growth, and my stereotypes and theology got rubbed in a way that needed to happen."

 "Thank you for making this film. I think this tone is exactly what the church needs around this topic, and I don't think anyone--no matter where they stand theologically--can help but be utterly moved by these stories."  (This point was the prevailing theme of the comments.)

 "This is exactly the right way to go about changing the tone of the conversation. Nobody can help but love the people in this film." 

And LGBT advocates and secular professionals have connected with the spirit of the film and the hearts of the main subjects as well--we all get wanting to belong and wanting to have a safe spiritual home to raise our families, and the main subjects of the film are just absolutely amazing people. I fall in love with them every time I see the film. They inspire me to show up more intentionally in my community, to parent better, to love more authentically despite differences. 

A Gentle Film

The film that has emerged is actually a gentle and quiet film, and I mean that in all the right ways. At some point we realized that the only people who watch combative films are those who already agree with the filmmaker’s premise. Several people commented that it was a “peacemaking” film. It’s contemplative, a powerful and revealing look at the inner spiritual world of the main subjects who have to struggle mightily with how to reconcile their religious and sexual identities. It’s a compelling intersection of faith and identity.

I can’t wait to share it with you! Before that happens though, there is still actually a lot of work to do. We still are tweaking, polishing, and trying to arrange for a host of final pieces (like a sound mix and color correction). 

What's Ahead

What’s ahead besides actually finishing the film is submitting to festivals. That’s a slow process, and we won’t know the results for several months. So, when people ask when it will premiere and where they can see it, I truthfully don’t know yet. It all depends on which festivals accept the film. Please know that I will be shouting it from the rooftops when I know. After it plays at festivals, we absolutely want to plan an extensive screening campaign to play the film around the country (and internationally as that is possible).

The Part About Money

The great news is that the incredible community that has sprung up to make this film happen raised enough money to cover all of our post-production expenses (and we even won some grant money). I'm afraid that I'd hoped that would be all of the fundraising we ever had to do, but I'm realizing just how expensive it is to actually get the film seen. We're committed to not just making the film but making sure it's seen wherever people are willing to hear these stories. We'll need funds for marketing, travel, and screening expenses (such as renting a theater).  I'm not launching a campaign for that yet because I don't feel like I know enough of the need yet, but I did want to let people know as they're planning year-end tax-deductible contributions that this is still a worthy project to give to, and you can still donate through the San Francisco Film Society. Thank you, thank you for all this community has done to make this film happen. Our credits list is long and growing! 

Blessings to you and yours this Thanksgiving, and please stay tuned for updates as we have a firmer sense of when and where the film will be showing.

Summer Film Update

Summer is a relative term around here. We’re currently in the midst of San Francisco’s famous summer fog. While it may be cold and gray, it’s actually great weather for hunkering down to edit a movie. And that’s what we’ve been doing.

If you follow our Facebook page, you know that we’ve had an editor and an intern working out of our apartment this summer—we actually moved our bed into our living room to make a separate office, which sounds extreme but has actually been working really well. Now we can at least keep Lily out of the office, although she does like to sneak in to “help.”

It’s been an extremely busy summer, but a productive one. We’re aiming to make some fall film festival deadlines, and I think with some more late nights, some luck, and some divine grace, we are going to make it. I saw a rough cut of act one last night (films typically have three acts), and I was blown away. Of course, it’s the people who have generously agreed to let us into their lives to share their stories who make it compelling, but our editorial team has been absolutely rocking it.

Meet the Team

Richard Levien, film editorWe feel extremely lucky to have Richard Levien, a local editor and filmmaker, on board as our editor. We met him a few years ago after the screening of D-Tour, a local documentary that had just won an award at the San Francisco International Film Festival. Stephen and Richard also took a master’s editing class together from the great Walter Murch the next year, and when we started asking around for editor recommendations, people kept mentioning Richard. He’s known to be especially good in situations where the director/producers are very close to the film subject. He actually has a PhD in theoretical physics from Princeton, and while he’s a Kiwi, he says that he’s “one of the few New Zealanders who played no part whatsoever in the making of the Lord of the Rings film trilogy.”

Abby Potts, assistant editor

Our intern, Abby Potts, whom we’re crediting as an assistant editor because she’s been that good, actually sent me an email this spring asking if she might be a good fit for this film. She’s a grad student at USC in their film program specializing in editing, and she had been following the project and wanted to be a part of it. In the small world of Adventism, it turns out that she and I shared a beloved favorite English Professor who had been at PUC but is now at Andrews. A generous friend in San Francisco who was off to Germany for work for the summer offered to let Abby stay in her apartment while working with us, and she’s been here long hours assembling scenes for Richard to polish. She’s also very patient when Lily wants to help, which has endeared her to all of us! We’re already feeling very gloomy that USC will be back in session soon.

We're Getting Close and Need Your Help to Finish

We still have a great deal of work to do, but I am energized and enthused about how things are coming together. I feel like there was a period this past winter when we were faced with a mountain of footage to shape. I had moments of feeling overwhelmed and not fully up to the task, but now the shape has emerged, the stories are clear, and I know this is going to be a powerful film. (And we're going to have the world's best special features section on a DVD one day with all of that additional footage!)

This is still the most expensive phase of the film because we have to hire others to help and because the final touches of a film are done on expensive equipment (music composing, sound mixing, and color correction). In my last newsletter, I shared the good news that we’d received half of our post-production funding. Well, it's time to begin raising the other half now.

If you're able to contribute to help us finish the film, we need your support one last time.

I’m in awe of what this community has done so far to get this film made. There are hundreds of people who have contributed, and many who have done so very generously. I’m humbled by your trust. And I finally feel fully confident that we will be watching it with you soon.

Thanks so much for being on this journey with us.

So, When Will This Film Be Done?

A fan of the film on Facebook recently sent me a message teasing me about when he’s going to be able to see the film, “I'm excited to see the movie finished. Everybody says it will be done soon, but there is no date announced...sounds to me like the Coming of Jesus—it will be soon, but we don't know the date!”  

I hear you! And I feel the same way. It really is coming along, but it’s just a lot of work, most of it difficult to make visible to the film fans unless you want to come sit in front of our computer monitors as we go through footage and work on the script.

I wanted to give you all a spring update on just what’s been happening with the film.

The Big News: First, the really, really good news is that we just found out that almost half of the funding we need for post-production is in the mail! Wow. If I tell you that I was actually playing the Hallelujah Chorus on my computer when news of this came in on my email, you’ll think I’m exaggerating. But remember, I’m a documentarian, so I only tell the truth! (Lily likes big, grand pieces of music right now, hence the melodrama.)

I cried with relief and joy. It was the first moment when I felt like I could honestly know that this film will get done. We will need definitely need more funds—this final phase of the film is actually the most expensive because it’s no longer a phase where we can do pretty much all the work ourselves, but critical mass we needed to build momentum, both for ourselves and with the other supporters who support the vision of the film.

So thanks to the donors who step in big ways, but an equally big thanks to the many, many of you who continue to support the film in your own capacity. Truly, it wouldn’t be happening without all of you. We have a friend from college who contributes $20 a month, and her encouragement and support is just as vital to preserving the momentum and vision of the film. I’m absolutely amazed beyond belief when I think of how many people have contributed to this film. I continue to live by Margaret Mead’s words, “"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

It Gets Better Video: As many of you know, I also produced a short project as part of the “It Gets Better” campaign with the help of Traveling Muse Pictures and New Name Pictures in Hollywood. Especially after the suicide in the Kinship family at Christmas, it felt like an appropriate response to try to get the message out to Adventist LGBT youth that it can get better—sometimes even in the church. (We featured people who have stayed in the church and those who have left to find spiritual wholeness). It was an incredible shoot, and I’ll be meeting with the editor next week to trim the first cut down.

What’s Next: For the SGA film, the timing always depends on funding, which is why I tend to say “soon” instead of give a real date. My personal goal is to be screening the film by this fall, and after the good funding news that we got this week, I am starting to feel pretty strongly that that is going to happen.

Our next step is to find an editor (we’ll still direct and produce—and write—through the editing process). If we can’t find the right editor with availability this summer, then Stephen will edit the first cut, and we’ll bring another editor in for a consult and polish after that.  And then we’ll have music, sound mix, color correction, website design (I want the website to be a place where people can continue to share stories), and, one day not-too-far-off, screenings and discussions! We still are planning some production travel—we’re not done shooting, but we’re just a lot more focused on what we need. One big July event is the wedding of one of our main characters in Canada.

Thank you so much for your support and ongoing encouragement. Your feedback and thoughts are always welcome. 

Back to that small group of committed people…

I attended a workshop a few weeks ago on emotional intelligence at our church, and the presenter (a widely respected brain function expert), said that it only takes five percent of the population having a consciousness shift to have a ripple effect on the rest of the population. She was actually referring to the recent events in the Middle East, but I suddenly felt really positive about the potential for this film to start a movement not just within the Adventist church but also in other conservative religious circles.

Here’s to the five percent! 

What’s Saving My Hope Right Now

Now that we’ve spent much of the past two years immersed in the stories and politics surrounding gay rights in religious communities, I’ve had my eyes opened to an entire world of hurt, pain, and downright hypocrisy that I’d not really stopped to listen to before.

Of course I had heard a story here or there, sat through the occasional sermon that threw around phrases like “the gay agenda” in ominous tones, but I hadn’t had a true or authentic encounter with a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person until I started going to an inclusive (truly non-traditional in the best sense of the concept) church in San Francisco.

When I finally started paying attention, there wasn’t a lot to give me hope for real and transformative change—my home state had just passed Prop 8 and stripped people I knew and loved of their newly acquired right to marry, and the Adventist churches around me were preaching outrageous sermons and slowly but surely shutting their doors to gays and lesbians.

And now that I have actually journeyed with several people who mean a great deal to me over the past two years and heard their stories (and the stories of their friends), it’s gotten harder in many ways.

When I hear that someone I know was just told that she can no longer play her instrument in church because that might be seen as “condoning her lifestyle”, it just hits me at my core.

When I get an email from a friend saying that his church board just stripped him of his Sabbath School class teaching duties because he personally believes that committed, monogamous same-sex relationships might not be sinful (even though he never said anything on the topic in class), I feel utterly discouraged and start to wonder what the heck we are even thinking in attempting a film project like this.

What was missing was the stories…

But last week I had a conversation with a friend that reminded me again why there is good cause for hope.

My dear (straight, formally conservative Adventist) friend Heather came to visit me last week. We stayed at her house twice while filming, and she has heard me talk a lot about the people and stories we’ve encountered with this film.

As we walked to one of my favorite restaurants in the neighborhood, she suddenly stopped and said:

“By the way, I have to thank you so much for doing your film project. I’ve always had compassion around the whole gay topic in the church, but I didn’t know what to do with it. What was missing for me was the stories. Real people and real stories. What you have shared with me about the people you are filming has completely transformed me and my heart. Thank you.”

Her testimony couldn’t have come at a better time. Stephen has been logging long hours in front of the computer editing the nearly 150 hours of footage we have, and we’re in that space that comes with every creative endeavor of knowing there is something very good ahead but not being able to see exactly how we’re going to get there. It’s really like walking with a flashlight in the dark to a great destination—morning will come, but right now, we can only see a few feet ahead, and not all that clearly.

Hearing Heather affirm how her heart was moved and transformed by the stories of LGBT Adventists is what’s keeping me fueled for the next few months. And as Stephen said later, “And she hasn’t even seen the movie yet!”

So here’s to the Heather’s out there giving me hope that stories do have immense power. Thanks for being willing to listen. Oh—and can you sit on a few more church boards?

Holiday Wishes

 As 2010 draws to a close, I've been reflecting on what has happened with the film since last Christmas. Last year at this time we were just returning from our 10,000 mile road trip around the country. We filmed dozens and dozens of LGBT Adventists as well as several friends and allies sharing their stories. (The first teaser using this footage is now posted on the home page.)

This year we've finished major filming with our main subjects (this time traveling by air!), and we're moving into the post-production phase. All this time, you, dear film supporter, have been an integral part of production. We've raised 65% of our budget, all from direct contributions from people who believe in the vision of this film.

Thank you for being an integral part of the Seventh-Gay Adventists production. As you know, this is an independent film, and your contributions are vital. I am writing to ask you to support the film with a tax-deductible year-end gift. And by this time next year, you may very well be watching this film at a screen near you!

We are moving from an active production phase to the post-production phase. Even though there will certainly be more to film, we have enough footage (over 100 hours!) to begin the editing process.

We have started the process of applying for post-production grants and have now submitted three major proposals. It’s a long, arduous, and highly competitive process, but we’ve got our fingers crossed that the right foundations will see that stories of gay and lesbian Adventists offer a compelling look at the intersection of faith, identity, and sexuality with implications that go far beyond Adventism. Unfortunately, we won’t know until June if we’ve even made the first cut. Until then, we still need your support as we start shaping the film in the edit studio.

Here are some highlights of what your tax-deductible gift of any amount will help support:

-       An edit space: A friend and supporter of the film has offered us an ideal editing space at an incredible price, and we’d like to move in our gear right after Christmas and start sifting through footage.

-       Media drives: Digital filmmaking has absolutely revolutionized film, especially small films like this one that just could not have been made with the expense of film. However, we have an enormous amount of data that has to be securely stored and backed up in multiple places (I’ve have an entirely new appreciation for Stephen’s insistence on robust back-up systems after seeing what a toddler is capable of!). We are in dire need of several more drives to back-up content.

-       A Jamaican filming trip: One of the film’s main subjects is from Jamaica. Part of his story is his attempt to get asylum in the U.S. so that he does not have to return to a very homophobic home culture (gay cruises won’t even stop there). What I didn’t know until I met our subject was that Adventism is huge in Jamaica. One in 12 Jamaicans is Adventist. Just think about that. Only about one in 350 Americans is Adventist, so Adventism is a huge presence in Jamaica, which is why we feel that to adequately tell his story we need to do some filming there and explore in what ways Adventism’s narrative and doctrines about homosexuality contribute to the homophobic conditions.

-       Archival film footage of the Phil Donahue Show: Many of you may know that the Adventist church was one of the first denominations to really embrace and support “change/reparative” therapy. In the 80s, Colin Cook—supported by the church—started Quest Learning Center in Reading, Pennsylvania. Although he wasn’t a therapist, he counseled gays on how to overcome their homosexual tendencies (he claimed to have overcome his homosexuality). In 1985, he was featured on the Phil Donahue show, and thousands of calls came in for more information. The center eventually closed amid scandal when it was revealed that he was molesting many of his clients. We’d like to look into this chapter of one way Adventism has attempted to address the needs of its gay members. Obviously it was pretty much an unmitigated disaster that damaged many people, but it’s a compelling story. We need funds to acquire archival footage and documents.

-       An animation sequence telling the highlights of Adventism: While we know the first viewers of this film will likely already be fans of haystacks, we also hope that this film will have a broader appeal, and to that end we envision a short animation sequence that tells the history of the church in a fun and engaging manner. Ascension robes, anyone?

Those are some of the specific projects we have planned in the next few months. Post-production is actually the most expensive phase because this is when it all comes together—music, sound, color correction, online edits, animation sequences, and more. But we’re planning to continue taking it one step at a time.

Making this film has been an exercise in faith and stepping into a vision without fully knowing how all of the necessary resources and funds will come together. There have been very rough patches when I question our sanity—I mean, who makes a film about sex and religion, two tricky topics most people avoid? But it’s actually because we avoid and ignore that we have a problem. People fear what they don’t know. And the best way to mitigate fear is to share our stories with each other. When you get to know the other, it turns out that we’re not all that different.

Thank you, thank you for your continued support and encouragement. 

As you know, change happens slowly, but just look at the historic changes in Washington this week as "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" finally joins the dustbin of history. What a Christmas present for our gay and lesbian troops! If the military can change, churches can change. But all of this change is happening because we are getting to know each others stories.

As you plan your year-end giving, please consider a generous, tax-deductible gift to help us share the stories of LGBT Adventists. If all goes well, by this time next year we’ll be sending you screening times and DVD offers! Donate Now!

Merry Christmas!